UPDATE 12/28/2012
Do you ever ask yourself when is it okay to choose death?
That may sound like a ridiculous question.
However, when you are dealing with chronic illness in the elderly population the answer is, whenever the patient chooses it.
As a caregiver that can be difficult to accept.
Difficult it may be, but beyond your care and nurturing, your patient’s health and wellness is beyond your control.
You can offer care and advice, but it is up to your patient to choose life … or not.
Many patients feel that their disease has eliminated the opportunity to choose hope and they are tired of suffering.
Sometimes the pain is so obvious that the family prays for an end to the suffering right along with them.
Though, it can be difficult sometimes to see how much pain someone else is in. You can’t walk a mile in their shoes.
If suffering isn’t obvious, it may be very difficult for you to accept that a loved one has given up!
You likely won’t give up on them even if they give up on themselves!
The good news is that there are LOTS of simple ways to ease pain and discomfort.
You can do a lot for your loved one! When their pain level subsides a bit, they may find a little leftover hope to help themselves!
The answer is not drugs!
The most respectful thing you can offer a loved one is the right to die with dignity.
Unfortunately, that could take months to years, and the only thing you can do, is offer your care. Privacy is something to take very seriously. If you can honor their space and keep them comfortable, you are doing all you can.
Educate yourself so that you will know what they need, but leave the decisions up to them as much as possible. If that means drugging their pain, that is their choice. What you can offer is the idea that there are solutions available.
Let them know “death is a valid choice”!
It might be enough to shake them up and make them realize that they are making a choice.
AND that they can choose differently.
Supplemental oxygen will help alleviate pain.
Though, if you have to force it on the patient it likely won’t benefit them as much as the fight will hurt them!
Encourage your loved one to use oxygen to keep them more comfortable, but if they refuse, be gentle with them AND yourself, and allow them that choice.
They will need to help themselves because you just can’t do that for them.
Using oxygen through the night will make a HUGE difference!
This is a great way to convince them that supplemental oxygen is worth the effort and irritation.
If you meet a lot of resistance to your encouragement to use utilize supplemental oxygen at bed time, try starting oxygen when they get up in the middle of the night to urinate.
At 3am their oxygen level is probably at it’s lowest point, due to fluid creeping into their lungs while they are horizontal.
If you can get them to comply with night time use, they should benefit noticeably from the effort very quickly. Journal their feelings for them because you may need to convince them that it is helping even when it is obvious!
Sometimes feeling better can motivate further change. Your loved one may choose to do more to help themselves when they notice it is making a difference!
Encourage supplemental oxygen with activity next, though realize that public use of oxygen is usually resisted due to pride and convenience.
Just enhancing sleep and activity with supplemental oxygen is a great place to start! If you can get them to do that much, bring them to the “Life Breath Club” and let the “Life Breath Coach” talk them into taking another simple action to help themselves. They will turn the corner one step at a time!
As the “Life Breath Coach” I teach an Action Plan I call BLESS.
It works like gang busters to cause healing for the individual that radiates out into their community.
B – Breathe
Learn how your breathing makes you sick and what you can do about it.
L – Love
Learn how to navigate life from your heart space. Love really IS the answer.
E – Eat
Discover why it is more difficult to nurture your health with food than it use to be.
S – Sit
It is difficult to cultivate Stillness in this day and age, but it is an important key to your healing.
- Seek Quiet Stillness
- Invite Natures Healing Power
- Take Time To Connect
S – Speak
Sacred Breathing will create miraculous healing and give your Voice strength.
Use your Voice to tell your story to give others hope to heal!
Heal Your Heart
Embrace Change
Lift Spirits To Raise Hope
Put People First
Strong communities have the power to heal heart disease. It’s a scientific fact that nurturing communities WILL prevent heart disease and stop the epidemic of heart failure that the world is facing today. The studies were done in the 1960s that prove it! It’s up to each of us to create strong nurturing communities.
Will Yours Be the Next BLESSed Life? Will Yours Be the Next BLESSed Community?
Become a member of the “Life Breath Club” today!
Click on the link below to learn more about member benefits.
Life Breath Club Member Benefits
This is a private membership to protect your medical privacy.
It’s FREE!
Many blessings,
Carrie Tucker, RCP
The Life Breath Club
Heart Failure Solutions
PS- Most importantly, take care of yourself!
You will be a much better caregiver and have more to offer, if you nurture yourself.
PPS– Remember everyday:
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Relax and Release tension
- Exhale Slowly
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Be active in a way that adds Joy to your life
Plus pure water ~whole foods~sunshine~and laughter
Excellent post! Way too often family members alienate the patient by attempting to force their well-meaning intentions on that sick individual.
Offering educated alternatives is all that can be done. It is ultimately the patients decision. It is their life and they will decided how to live it or end it.
And, YES, sometimes death is their decision. However it IS their decision.