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How Do You Deal With Other People’s Grief?

How do you deal with other people's grief?

Original source facebook.com

How do you deal with grief that you don’t feel?

You can’t, can you?

If you don’t feel grief you can’t deal with it at all.

Perhaps you feel compassion for the families grieving lost loved ones in Connecticut this holiday season, and certainly this tragedy has caused us to grieve as a nation.

But do you wonder why some people act as though this has happened to them in some way?

Do you think, “My gosh!  At least it wasn’t your child.  Be grateful it wasn’t your child!”

Is it hard to fathom another person’s grief?

I have many friends who can’t help but feel the grief!  We all know what 6 years old looks like, and it tears our hearts out to picture such violence committed against such innocence.

Yet, getting this news, you almost can’t help but picture it.  If you love a six year old or a young one, you can’t help but picture them being hurt.

Do you avoid thinking about it and avoid all media?  Do you think positive thoughts of Peace?

The world NEEDS visionaries!  We really do!  So there is a lot to be said for putting your focus on what you Want, and Peace and Love.

Do you feel responsible for asking why guns with no purpose but to kill PEOPLE are legal?

Each citizen of the United States should feel a responsibility for caring for and protecting our children.  I think no matter what religion you site as your authority pretty much all will be in agreement that children should be cared for and protected.

Even if you have no religion, you likely have a soft spot for children.

Feelings of responsibility for preventing more senseless violence are not inappropriate.

Feelings Your Feelings Is Never A Problem.

Intense emotions of sorrow only feel like they will kill you.  If you just allow your feelings expression you can manage them.

However, when you disconnect from your feelings you are in BIG trouble.

The feelings you won’t express must be stuffed down inside you, and there they stay until they find expression or make you sick.

Feel your feelings and fill yourself full of Love and Joy.  Keep your focus there as much as possible to stay filled with Light!

When you can’t feel your feelings you are stuck!

Humor me here.

Will you try an exercise?

Picture yourself in the shoes of the mourning families effected by the tragedy a week ago today.

Stay in that heart space.  What would that feel like?

Now, listen to this song off Pink’s latest album.

If you participated in the exercise to the best of your ability, there are tears trickling down your cheeks.

It is not hard to feel the pain of others.  It really isn’t.

Their grief is not your grief, but we are undeniably connected to every other person on this planet.

We feel each others pain if we are open to feeling it!

You may wonder what good it does to feel pain that is not your burden to bare.

Compassion is an art form and you will get better at it the more you practice it.

When you pull away from painful emotion you shut down.  You can’t offer support to those who are suffering and you lose touch with your own feelings.

It is what it is … Grief Hurts.

The only thing we can do is be there for each other.  Just be present.  Whether tragedy occurs in another state or another country we are all effected.

You can’t get away from grief when the whole planet is heart broken.

The way to deal with other peoples grief is to stay present and speak words of comfort if you can.

If your neighbor is grieving, remember what they loved before the grief and reach out to them around a common interest.

You don’t have to keep mourning, you just have to stay present.

We are all in this together.

Being good to each other means being sensitive to each others feelings.

Start by being sensitive to your own and work outward from there.


Many BLESSings,

Carrie Tucker, RCP

The Life Breath Coach

Heart Failure Solutions


PS– Remember everyday:

  • Relax and Release tension
  • Exhale Slowly
  • Be active in a way that adds Joy to your life

Plus pure water ~whole foods~sunshine~and laughter