Category Archives: Mind Set

Are You Ever Done With the Stages of Grief?

Mind Set, , , , ,

Old antique table

Grief is a very powerful emotion!

It seems to come in waves.

The first powerful wave tends to knock you off your feet.

It takes a while to get up.

Once you get your feet under you, the next wave can surprise you just as much!

Dog Gone!  You thought you had this under control.  You thought you were healing and moving forward.

Time heals.  However, healing tends to sets the stage for the next layer of grief to demand expression.

As much as you want to be done feeling like dung, you need to grieve when you need to grieve.

Do you see your grieving process somewhere in the list of the stages of grief? Continue reading Are You Ever Done With the Stages of Grief? →

Do You Know How To Deal With Grief?

Mind Set, , ,

Abe-Lincolns-birthday

Mr. Rogers represents safety and comfort to many.

The man knew how to deal with grief.

The planet is still being nurtured by him 9 years after his death.

This story touched me in the wake of the tragedy last Friday.  As we all reel with pain, we could use any comfort we can find.

I love the connections of the people in the following story that I saw shared on facebook by one of my friends.  (Speaking of comforts.)

It is beautiful how God gets our attention with “coincidence” and synchronicity!

Mr. Rogers’ Words of Comfort Revived In Wake of Tragedy

The image was indelible, even before Friday’s horrifying events in Newtown, Conn.: a photograph from the May 15, 1978 edition of People Magazine of a little boy, his tiny hands cradling the face of “Mister Rogers,” as the children’s television host kneeled down to greet him.

That photo of Fred Rogers and that, awed, joyful, unnamed child was taken by Pittsburgh photographer Jim Judkis in 1978, but it took on new life over the weekend as parents struggled for guidance on how to talk to their children about the shootings of 20 schoolchildren.

The photo was first posted on the Facebook page of a public television and radio advocacy organization, 170 Million Americans for Public Broadcasting. From there it went viral: on NBC’s “Meet the Press” on Sunday and in the Washington Post on Monday, among other media sites, along with this quote from Rogers: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping. To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers — so many caring people in this world.”

As of Monday afternoon, there were 49,058 “likes” and 88,778 shares on Facebook. At the closing of the “Meet the Press” program, host David Gregory showed the photograph and read the Rogers’ quote — while adding his own prayer to bereaved families and their children: “May God give you strength and at least you can know there is a country full of helpers here to catch you when you feel like falling.”

Rogers died in 2003, two years after “Mister Rogers Neighborhood” went off the air. But his soothing demeanor and timeless wisdom has been repeatedly tapped in times of crisis, during his lifetime and after.

“At times like this, the idea that there were people in that school trying to save the lives of children — they were the helpers, and that whole concept is very positive,” said Bill Isler, longtime head of the Fred Rogers Co. who worked closely with Rogers for 30 years. He recalled Monday that Rogers repeatedly used the “helpers” concept in his speeches.

“Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” began in 1967, but its host wasn’t called upon to talk about trauma until the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy the following year, when he found himself needing to reassure families and educators about how to explain the inexplicable.

“That was the first time he dealt with truly scary things in the news,” Mr. Isler said.

After the pipe-bomb explosion during the Atlanta Olympics on July 27, 1996, a Saturday morning, Rogers told Post-Gazette reporter Barbara Vancheri how much he appreciated ABC’s handling of the event. News anchor Kevin Newman warned children they wouldn’t find cartoons there and advised them to have an adult with them if they planned to watch television.

“I thought that was extremely thoughtful programming,” he said. “I really applaud that, because if I had been in that position, that would be exactly what I would have said.”

After the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, Rogers taped public service announcements aimed at adults wondering about how to discuss world news with their young children. These included his “look for the helpers” sentiments and other guidance.

“Well, we at Family Communications [Rogers’ production company] have discovered that when children bring up something frightening, it’s helpful right away to ask them what they know about it … probably what children need to hear most from us adults is that they can talk with us about anything, and that we will do all we can to keep them safe in any scary time.”

While it’s possible that those children at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., hadn’t ever watched “Neighborhood,” which no longer runs regularly on PBS, old programs are available on Amazon.com, iTunes and on some PBS stations.

“What’s interesting to me is that David Gregory identified with Fred Rogers right away as someone who could reassure parents and their children — perhaps because he grew up with him,” Mr. Isler said.

Mr. Judkis vividly remembered visiting what was called the Memorial Home for Crippled Children, now The Children’s Institute, on Shady Avenue in Squirrel Hill, with Rogers.

“We were waiting in this room, and 10 children came in, some of them in wheelchairs, and Mr. Rogers got down to their level, and this little boy walked over and put his hands on his face. I call it my one lucky shot,” he said.

It was the first day Mr. Judkis ever worked with Rogers, and went on to work with him for more than two decades, photographing more than a dozen children’s books.

“Working with Fred was one of the greatest privileges ever,” said Mr. Judkis, 61, who runs a busy freelance photo business in Franklin Park.

It was especially meaningful too, when the Washington Post weighed in on Monday about the image and the quote going viral — in a piece written by Mr. Judkis’ daughter, Maura, 27, a staffer at the newspaper.

Original Article Source:  Post-Gazette.com

 

Somehow it gives me comfort to picture this photographer’s daughter coming in to work at the Washington Post Monday morning.

I’m sure her heart was aching with the rest of us.

It must have been very comforting to write an article about her dad’s “one lucky shot” going viral to comfort the nation and the world.

To feel such a powerful connection is always comforting.  Connection comforts like nothing else can.

If it was hard in the past to reach out to others and nurture relationships, you might find that the incredible pain we all feel with the victim’s families has brought us so much closer together that reaching out is easier than it use to be.  It can’t possibly be as difficult as it was before every other heart was aching with yours!

Anger and sorrow must be expressed and processed, hopefully in a healthy way, but it’s your compassion that will save you when times get hard.

WE are the helpers!

If you can do nothing else you can pray.  You can think a loving thought.  Someone near you needs comfort and you can comfort them!

Looking for the helpers can help you get helping.  Sudden trauma is shocking!  It can make you freeze in your tracks.

Once you start looking around for the helpers you will feel connected again and you can begin helping from where you are.

You don’t need to know how to deal with grief, just take it as it comes.  Be gentle with yourself.

There is no right way to grieve, but helping sure helps you grieve.

 

Many BLESSings,

Carrie Tucker, RCP

The Life Breath Coach

Heart Failure Solutions

 

PS-  Intense emotion makes it hard to breathe.  During difficult times your breathing makes you sick without you even noticing your breathing has changed.

Emotional trauma is just one contributing factor effecting your breathing.  Find out how your breathing makes you sick and what you can do about it.

Click on the link below.

Is my breathing unhealthy?

 

PPS– Remember everyday:

  • Relax and Release tension
  • Exhale Slowly
  • Be active in a way that adds Joy to your life

Plus pure water ~whole foods~sunshine~and laughter

 

(Picture originally posted on facebook.com)

Do You Have Bucket List Ideas For Now?

Mind Set, , , ,

happy old woman showing thumb up

My conversation with Briana about Bucket List ideas the other day got me singing the song from the movie.

I absolutely love the song sung by John Mayer that addresses a huge issue some folks never work through in their entire life time.

Do you “Say What You Need To Say”?

My daughter’s Bucket List includes travel and chocolate.

Personally, I like the idea of  a Bucket List that gives me Peace when I lie down to die.

Saying what I have to say, when I have to say it, would give me more Peace than all the travel and chocolate I could consume in a lifetime!

It’s not like I really have a choice.

I HAVE to “Say What I Need To Say”!

The alternative is to swallow it and let it rot my guts.

I’ve always wondered how people swallow their truth.  It makes me think, “Is the truth more costly than rotten guts?”

There is no way to know without walking a mile in another’s shoes, but still I’ve got to wonder.

Recently I was hired to assess an in home care giving situation.

The elderly woman receiving the care had been experiencing dementia symptoms for over a decade.

At times she was very lucid and you could see how intelligent and thoughtful she was.

At other times she couldn’t remember her children’s names.

One particularly enlightening conversation I had with this sweet woman helped me to see Continue reading Do You Have Bucket List Ideas For Now? →

Could You Be Living With PTSD Symptoms?

Mind Set, , , , ,

Old grandmother

June is PTSD Awareness Month.

Are you aware of this devastating condition that can sink the brightest shining star?  Living with PTSD symptoms can feel like navigating life under 10 feet of water.

Every person on the planet is capable of feeling the feelings of another person.

It’s arguable that you could say that about animals as well, but for the sake of this discussion let’s keep it to 2 leggeds.

Have you ever played the game where the group tries to guess the emotion of the acting participant?

It’s not hard usually unless the emotion is complicated, like jealousy.

But within the complexities of living life and navigating relationships, surviving and pursuing happiness, things get a little harder to read.

It can be difficult to understand your own feelings in difficult situations.

For someone with post traumatic stress syndrome feeling your own feelings can be increasingly difficult. You simply have no access to what you are feeling … good or bad.

If you can’t feel pain, you can’t feel Joy.

(If you noticed, I just used the term “post traumatic stress SYNDROME” as opposed to “post traumatic  stress DISORDER”.  The reason I want to invite you to use the word “syndrome” instead of “disorder” is because this condition is a response in your nervous system that is certainly painful to live through, but it is not a “disorder” in that you CAN heal!)

If you are living with PTSS/PTSD symptoms you will notice that you have a much harder time understanding others and communicating clearly, because you aren’t receiving your own signals. 

You become numb.

Soldiers are certainly susceptible to this crippling condition, and so are survivors of traumatic events.

It’s easy to see this type of suffering in others.  But it’s a lot harder to see it in yourself. Continue reading Could You Be Living With PTSD Symptoms? →

Robert and Terri TallTree - Guest Speakers on "Breathing Into... Now!"

Stress Management Techniques: Want To Banish Stress from Your Life?

Mind Set, , , ,

UPDATE November 28, 2012

A lot has changed since I wrote this in May!

I had to update!

 

  • Did you wake up this morning with a heavy heart, a heavy sigh and an occupied mind?
  • Do you find yourself most of the time physically, emotionally and financially drained?Discover the Secrets of Stress Management Techniques

If your answers to the questions above are YES, then you are definitely undergoing a lot of stress lately.

Stress management techniques seems to be easier said than done.  However, with the proper mindset, you will find yourself gaining momentum and taking action with ease and peace of mind.

Here are some ideas to manage the causes of your stress:

1. Know your stressors!

The causes of stress for each and every person differ. You have to be honest with yourself and discover the sources of your inner chaos.

If you are often preoccupied with your problems at home, say, your children or your marriage, the first step to managing everything is to admit that there is really a problem. Denying the existence of certain issues will only tempt you to procrastinate solving them.

Maybe your children or your spouse are not the real source of stress but your lack of organizational skills.

Do you worry about not being able to spend quality time with them?

Identify what is causing you to skip family dinners and movie dates.

Is it because you are always multi-tasking?  Then focus on one task at a time.

Is it because you are busy juggling three jobs?  Quitting a job which you are not actually happy to have and spending quality time with your family instead might be much more valuable than the pay check it offered.

2. Choose healthier ways to adapt with stress.

When people are stressed out, they usually run to the nearest “Bad Habit Station” because they claim that bad habits make them feel better.

If you are one of those people who grab a shot of tequila or start doing unproductive activities, then you are doing it all wrong.  Some people binge-eat or do not eat at all.

Do you lock yourself inside your room thinking that withdrawal from friends and family might ease your situation?

While these things temporarily manage your stress, it will have an adverse effect on you later in life and is probably effecting you adversely even now.

The best way to cope with stress is to substitute the “Bad Habit Station” with Healthy Habits!

Eat healthy, sweat it out at the gym, breathe slowly and stay calm.

3. Join forums/seminars/symposiums/webinars on managing stress! 

Sometimes, it is easier to handle difficult things when you are not alone.  Many people are going through stressful times and joining them as they learn ways to handle their stress from experts who know the secrets might even help you with your present situation.

 

As the founder of HeartFailureSolutions.com and the ‘Life Breath Coach’, I am excited to introduce you to two AMAZING speakers!

Chief Robert and Terri Lynn TallTree are MY teachers.Robert and Terri TallTree - Guest Speakers on "Breathing Into... Now!"

Every coach needs a coach!  In fact if your coach doesn’t have a coach, your coach isn’t practicing what he/she preaches!

I teach that Sacred Breathing can shift you into a much better bio-chemical place and therefore a MUCH better mindset!

The TallTree’s mindset coaching is ancient.

Robert and Terri get very specific and dig into pockets of emotion you didn’t even know you had.

I thought that sort of work would be very conscious, but I find that it is extremely unconscious.

Following the advice of my wise teachers, the TallTrees, I find that my thoughts, words and actions more powerfully create what I want them to.

If stress is draining you, trust the TallTrees to set you right once a week.

Their call is much like The Life Breath Club and it happens on Tuesdays.

I’ve been studying with them for several years, but I have been doing a consistent daily practice prescribed by them for the past 213 days in a row!

The Miracle MindShift Month seems too simple to be so powerful!

Since I began doing it last March SO much has changed in my life!

Relationships changed, my income increased, my vehicle was upgraded without my involvement (no kidding!), I healed some very old stuff and became more of who I am ….

A LOT!

If you need to heal, you need to shift your mind to a healing place.

The Miracle Mindshift Month with the TallTrees will shift you to a miraculous place quickly and efficiently!

Click on the link below to find out about the substantial discount that Heart Failure Solutions is able to offer!

Miracle Shift Gift

 

Many blessings,

Carrie Tucker, RCP

The Life Breath Coach

Heart Failure Solutions

 

PS– Remember everyday:

  1. Relax and Release tension
  2. Exhale Slowly
  3. Be active in a way that adds Joy to your life

Plus pure water ~whole foods~sunshine~and laughter

Is Feeding Your Spirit Daily the Solution To Your Symptoms of Depression?

Mind Set, , ,

Spirit Daily

Do holidays depress you?

 

======================

UPDATE November 30, 2012

Welcome to my blog. It’s been a while since I posted here on Heart Failure Solutions.

I’ve been very busy creating The Life Breath Club and we are in the beginning stages of bringing our online membership to life!

Chris Downs needed a heart transplant when he joined The Life Breath Club.

He credits what he learned from The Life Breath Coach with his healing.

Chris no longer needs a heart transplant!

Awesome healing is happening!

 

I really love this post I wrote over a year and a half ago now, because it speaks to your need to connect with others in order to find your solutions.

Nobody heals in isolation.  Surround yourself with positive support.

Set yourself up for success.  Without your health, what do you have?

Now back to the blog post you came to read …

Can holidays really feed your spirit?

=========================================================================================================================

Do holidays depress you?

Halloween can be a rather dark sort of celebration, though my family embraces the fun of masquerading as opposed to the “scare factor”.

I have friends that don’t celebrate Halloween because they feel that it conflicts with their religion.  Over the years I have given that quite a bit of thought myself.

For me, it comes down to connection with our community.  If we reject the popularity of Trick or Treating, we lose a chance to bond with our neighbors.

Since it really does take a village to raise a child, I feel strongly about taking every opportunity to connect with the busy individuals that make up our Village Family.

Visiting over hot cider while the kids collect their candy is a lot of fun for the grown ups, and the kids love to run around after dark enjoying each others company.

It’s just not something that happens everyday!

When we head home at the end of the evening I always have a happy heart.  Connecting with my neighbors really feeds my Spirit!

Feeding your Spirit daily can be a challenge.  You can count on your community to be out and about during popular festivities.  You know they will be ready for some fun.

All you have to do is be willing to get out there with them!

How will you feed your Spirit tomorrow?

Portia is a spirited red head who has lead a very colorful life.  She has raised 3 boys and sent them off into the world.

She considers herself a “part time mom” these days because she just has one child left at home, an easy going sweet heart of a little girl.  Any parent of an only child will agree that parenting is a full time job no matter how many rug rats you are rearing!

Portia has had a tough time celebrating herself.

2010 started off a whole lot differently for Portia.  She found Healthy Solutions Chat and accepted the invitation to make it her Health Mastermind.

Portia needed encouragement to nurture herself.  She always put herself last on her list, and Healthy Solutions Chat was just the inspiration she needed.  She rarely missed her weekly Mastermind Call and it became her own personal “Self Care Challenge”.

Portia credits the online support she found for getting her through a Creative Writing Course that she completed this year.  Not only did she pass the class with flying colors, she also experienced great healing by writing her life story.

The intense emotions that writing her story brought up would typically have sent her into a downward spiral.  Not this year!

All week long she remembered what she learned in Mastermind and the bond she created with her Mastermind Team Members kept her feeling loved and supported.

Self Care started happening daily!

Portia shares her secrets with anyone who will listen:

  1. Spend time in silence daily.
  2. Accept what is, because what you resist persists.
  3. Breathe!
  4. Enjoy activity daily.
  5. Plug in with people who support you.
  6. Be committed to YOU and Masterminding YOUR health!
  7. Get enough SLEEP!

Portia says:

“Feeding my Spirit Daily” is SO much better than drugging my symptoms.”

 

If you are currently using drugs to deal with depression, please don’t let my message discourage you.

There is a lot you can do to combat your depression and get off of medication.  When you medicate the depression, you medicate your Joy, too.

In order to feel the heights of your happiness, you have to allow the processing of all those less than pleasant and even down right painful emotions.

There are some very practical steps you can take to support a new approach to battling your depression.

Food Matters is a well respected nutritional education company, and they say there are 5 reasons you should NOT drug your symptoms of depression.

Are you considering using Anti-Depressant Drugs to treat your depression?

 

5 Reasons NOT To Drug Your Symptoms of Depression

 

Reason One:   The Journal of the American Medical Association says that SSRI’s like Paxil and Prozac are no more effective in treating depression than a placebo pill.

The article says that SSRI’s may be useful in treating severe depression BUT they don’t have any effect on the routine type of depressions they are most often used to treat.

Using SSRI’s if you have normal, mild, or routine depression is a waste of money, and the drugs have serious side-effects including increased suicidal feelings, aggression, and loss of sexual drive.

Reason Two:   In January of this year, MedPage Today cited a study done at Columbia University and Johns Hopkins. The study says that doctors routinely prescribe not one but two or three SSRI’s and other psychopharmological drugs in combination with few if any serious studies to back up the multiple usage.

The reason for these multiple prescriptions is that one drug isn’t working on its own.  Two or three of this same type of drug is a better idea? Doctors are performing uncontrolled experiments on their patients!

Drugs have dangerous interactions!  Are you willing to be a guinea pig to discover which drugs will react dangerously?

Reason Three:  The DSM, diagnostic manual of psychological and psychiatric disorders, which outlines the care pathway in treating disease, is manufacturing new reasons to drug you.

Would you say that you have any of the following “diseases”?

  • shyness
  • sadness
  • restlessness
  • shopping too much
  • high sex drive
  • low sex drive

Increasingly the criteria for inclusion in the DSM, the diagnostic manual of psychological and psychiatric disorders, involves whether the disorder responds to a category of drugs.

We just discussed how the Journal of the American Medical association says that a key class of drugs being used to treat depression for the past 20 years is INEFFECTIVE!!

It is necessary to RETHINK this basis for labeling lifestyle disorders “diseases”.

Reason Four: The future is here, and the social control dreaded since the 1960s is now accepted in the form of a pill.

It may be a whole lot easier to pop a pill than it is to explore the reasons for your distress.

Exploring the reasons for your distress are a whole lot easier than living with side effects such as:

  • increased suicidal feelings
  • aggression
  • loss of sexual drive

You may not have a problem being socially controlled, but the side effect of increasing your suicidal thoughts may be fatal.

Reason Five:  The whole serotonin hypothesis is challenged by these findings.

This new information shows that there may be some help using SSRIs if there is a severe shortage of serotonin, but the average person’s depression cannot simply be related to a “chemical imbalance.”

The human brain is complicated and so are we!  It is absurd to use the simple, quick explanation that depression is related to serotonin alone.

We have no way of measuring serotonin in the brain of a living person, short of cutting open the skull.

There is no way to accurately say what a normal level of serotonin should be.  It can NOT be said that you will be depressed if your serotonin is too low, or that you will be “happy” if you maintain a “normal” serotonin level.

People with high serotonin levels can be depressed and those with low levels can be happy.

Serotonin inducing drugs like ecstasy can make you feel very happy, but so can alcohol and heroin!

 

The increasing tendency to drug depression is a HUGE CONCERN!

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’ve got a chemical imbalance!

Ask them what they actually mean and where is the science to prove that statement!

 

“But, how do I get OFF drugs?!”

If you are already on prescriptive drugs for depression this news is devastating! 

Getting off the drugs your doctor likely told you are not addictive may be easier said then done!

One secret to getting off drugs is to get connected with people who know how to combat depression naturally!

I got off anti-depressants the hard way!  I did not know Sacred Breathing or the arsenal of depression fighting tools I know now … way back then.  Psychotropic drugs were prescribed for me in attempt to reduce the mind numbing pain of auto immune issues.  I had no idea I was taking a mind altering chemical, AND the little bit of relief I did get from the drugs was not solving my problem!

10 years of suffering through pain before I found relief with Chiropractic Care, Wholesome Food, and Sacred Breathing is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy!

 

How do you get off drugs?

Portia Rose from New Zealand is determined to stay off drugs!

She credits the things she learned in The Life Breath Club for her awesome success!

“It isn’t always easy to apply every little gem I get from The Life Breath Coach, but I’ve found that when I feel out of sorts I am quickly set right when I get back to the basics.”

Life Breath Club Basics:

  • Spend time in quiet stillness daily

Honor yourself by visiting with YOU daily.

Be patient and see what thoughts arise for you each day.

Get to know yourself again!  Spending time in nature can really make this basic self care more powerful.

Mother nature is very healing.

  • Accept what is, because what you resist persists.

Refusing to accept what IS …  is insanity!

Acceptance is the first step to creating the transition that will take you from what you don’t want into what you DO want!

  • Enjoy activity daily.

Move it or lose it!

Remember that activity is a powerful way to treat and beat depression!

It might help if you DON’T call it “exercise”.

  • Get enough SLEEP!

You ONLY create the fuel you burn while you are sleeping.

If you suffer from poor sleep give some attention to nutrition, activity, exposure to sunlight (30 minutes a day at least), hydration, and conscious slow breathing all day long, not just when you are trying to fall asleep.  When you focus on your breath, you “Breathe Into Now”.

Breathing into now is a good thing.  You only have NOW.  There is nothing available to you in the future or the past.  The present moment is the only one accessible.

That might sound like some strange sleep advice, but you’ll find that when you prioritize sleep and attend to self care, sleep is not elusive.

  • Plug in with people who support you.

No man (or woman) is an island!

Your support system will raise you up til your Spirit Sings!

Living your life WITHOUT support is setting yourself up for FAILURE!

Plug in with neighbors or join a local senior group.  Get out there and find kindred spirits!

Virtual support is a powerful thing, too!

 

Portia Rose is half a world away from The Life Breath Coach, but the virtual support she gets keeps her connected!

Click on the link below and find out how The Life Breath Club can benefit you!

Join The Life Breath Club Today!

 

Many blessings,

Carrie Tucker, RCP

The Life Breath Coach

Heart Failure Solutions

 

PS– Remember everyday:

  1. Relax and Release tension
  2. Exhale Slowly
  3. Be active in a way that adds Joy to your life

Plus pure water ~whole foods~sunshine~and laughter