Death is a part of life. When someone you love dies, your life goes on without them.
Alzheimer’s Disease and dementia can effectively take your loved one from you. Though your lives go on, the person you loved is gone. They are no longer who they were. Someone else is living with you.
Grieving for the loss of a loved one that is not dead is a heart wrenching kind of pain.
Do you feel angry and sad?
Please don’t feel guilty about those feelings!
Whatever you feel is appropriate.
There is no wrong way to grieve.
But there are a few things that can make it a little easier …
1. Express your feelings…..all of them.
You may be able to do this privately in a quiet dark room, or maybe with a golf club in the back yard.
If you need professional help, find someone you can work with and get the assistance you need.
Stuffing your feelings won’t help you or honor the memory of your loved one.
2. Seek out support and resources.
You need to continue to take care of yourself as the demands of caring for your loved one increase.
It may be difficult to ask friends and family for help. Do it anyway. Change is just too difficult in isolation, not to mention the physical work load of full time care.
If you don’t have a support system, you need to build one.
Be creative; seek out people in similar situations, try community centers and churches, heck give Craig’s list a try.
3. Surround yourself with happy memories.
Make sure you frequently look at pictures of the good old days. Talk about the happy memories you shared with your loved one, with friends and family.
You can’t really have any closure until your loved one actually passes, but allowing yourself to reminisce is a helpful way to process your feelings and keep the memory of your loved one alive as you navigate the challenges of caring for them. When you actually face their death, you will be less numb, and better able to grieve.
Your burden is a heavy one. My heart goes out to you.
Carrie Tucker, RCP
The Life Breath Coach
Heart Failure Solutions
PS– Remember everyday:
- Relax and Release tension
- Exhale Slowly
- Be active in a way that adds joy to your life
Plus pure water ~whole foods~sunshine~and laughter