Did you mother yourself this past Mother’s Day?
Whether you are a mother or not, do you give yourself a pat on the back more often than you kick yourself for not manning up, or “womanning” up as the case may be.
Do you think that you fall short in the mothering department, or the parenting department, or the human being department for that matter?
It’s a lot easier to see your faults than it is to acknowledge your virtues.
When did your health care provider begin talking to you about adrenal fatigue symptoms?
Cathy was one of those mothers who always felt like she should be doing more for her children.
When they were little, she felt guilty for going back to work before her children were in school. She felt a duty to be class mother every year once they started school, even though she worked a full time job.
Once they started sports Cathy was forever running children to activities. That became unmanageable so she bought her teenagers cars as they came of age to drive themselves to all their various activities. However, that was costly so Cathy worked many hours to balance her books and always took the sacrifice on herself if she came up short.
The year her baby became a teen-ager, giving Cathy’s house a population of 3 teens and one single mother, her naturopath began talking to her about adrenal fatigue symptoms. Though Cathy heard the firm scolding from her health care provider, she didn’t see any way to reduce the stress in her life.
Once her children married and started their own families, they looked to Cathy for child care because after all, she was working from home, and on the verge of retirement anyway. Since she was making good money as well, she and they saw no need for financial reimbursement for the hours of care, or the financial burden of the care she gave her grand-children.
Cathy never uttered a word of complaint, but you could see it wearing on her over the years. When her youngest daughter began going out with the girls after work and leaving her children til late in the evening on a regular basis, Cathy finally found the bottom …
She got very sick with pneumonia and ended up in the hospital. When she was discharged and sent home weak and weary, she knew she had to make changes. If she didn’t it would be the end of her. She had nothing more to give.
Problem was, Cathy just couldn’t value herself enough to put her needs before others. It took 3 more hospital stays and a heart failure diagnosis for her to get serious and commit to change.
Ignoring her adrenal fatigue symptoms for so many years had caused Cathy’s immune system to deteriorate. She had a long way to go to climb out of the hole she had dug for herself.
It wasn’t easy for Cathy, but she got involved in her own healing. She joined a support group, hired a health coach, and started putting herself at the top of the list.
There was a difficult transition time for her, and she still battles feelings of guilt. Especially when her daughter accuses her of ruining her life … but Cathy knows she has done the best she could.
If you beat yourself into the ground, you will be in the ground!
So … how do you stop hurting yourself?
How do you put yourself at the top of the list?
1. Start each day with a few minutes of sitting in stillness.
Be still with yourself and wait to see what thoughts will arise. Try to still your mind, but don’t fight the thoughts that surface for you.
2. When someone asks you to do something tell them:
“I’ll have to think about that and get back to you.”
Say no to whatever it is if it does not leave you time to do for yourself by the end of the day. Only say yes to requests that feel good to you as much as humanely possible.
3. Promise yourself a tantrum!
When you are holding it together for the sake of those around you, promise yourself that just as soon as the opportunity presents itself, you will throw yourself on your bed and kick and scream, or go out in the back yard and pound the ground with a golf club … but absolutely asap you will get the frustration out of your body and feel joyous in releasing it!
It is important to allow yourself your feelings without feeling guilty for feeling them!
Allowing dark feelings to be expressed, or tears to wash them away leaves you with lots of space to fill up with love and light.
In her book, Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting, Lynn Grabhorn talks about attracting like energy. She says every 17 seconds you send out a vibrational frequency to the universe and it sends back a match. If you need to throw a tantrum, Lynn says to limit it to 17 seconds if at all possible, and then reach for a better feeling.
Heart Math teaches you to remember a joyful moment and then focus on your heart. You really can send out a Joy signal to every cell of your body in a flash!
Don’t abandon your inner-child!
Mother yourself daily!
Carrie Tucker, RCP
The Life Breath Coach
Heart Failure Solutions
PS– Remember everyday:
Relax and Release tension
Be active in a way that adds Joy to your life
Plus pure water ~whole foods~sunshine~and laughter